Husband sent a text to his wife at night,

“Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothesand make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.” but there is no reply

He sent another text,

“And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”

This time , she sent this text back,

“OMG really?”

Husband replied,

“No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message””

A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags.

“Where are you going?” demands the surprised husband.

“To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!”

The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his bags.

“What do you think you are doing?” she screamed.

“I’m going to Las Vegas with you… I want to see how you’re going to live on $1,000 a year!”

An old lady was stopped and pulled into a parking space. A young man in his new red Mercedes immediately went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.

So upset was the little old lady that she went up to the man and said,

“I was going to park there!”

The man was a real smart alec and he said,

“That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”