A police station gets two new horses and two cops are assigned to ride them. They go on a ride and come back pleased.

“This horse is great! From now on, I’ll always take this one,” said the first cop. “My horse’s great too. So I’ll always take it, too,” replied the second cop.

“But, how would I know which one is mine?” asked the first cop.

They thought for a minute and one of them came up with an idea. “Let’s cut off this one’s tail.” The other cop agreed and one of the horses lost its tail.

Next morning the police chief found out and got really mad. “You idiots cut off the horse’s tail!”

“But otherwise we couldn’t recognise them,” said the second cop.

“Can’t you see the black horse is a bit taller than the brown?!”

A man named Jack strides into John’s Stable looking to buy a horse.

“Listen here,” says John, the owner. “I’ve got just the horse you’re looking for. The only thing is he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t stop and go the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to yell ‘heyhey!’, and the way to get him to go is by yelling ‘Thank God!’”

Jim nodded his head. “Fine with me. Can I take him for a test run?”

John agrees. A few minutes later, Jim is having the time of his life, thinking to himself that the horse sure could run fast. As he speeds down a dirt road, he panics as he realizes there’s a cliff-edge fast approaching.

“Stop!” screams Jim, to no avail. He remembers what he has to say to make the horse stop just five feet from the edge and yells: “HEYHEY!” The horse skids to a halt, with just an inch to spare before a sheer drop of hundreds of feet.

Gasping, Jim looks over the cliff-edge in disbelief at his good fortune. He looks up to the sky, raises his hands in the air and breathes a deep sigh of relief.

“Oh,” he says, relieved. “Thank God!” 

The race horse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.

He turned on the jockey.

“Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?”

“Sure I could have, but you know we’re supposed to stay on the horse.”