Confession Takes a Surprising Turn

A blondie went to confession and said to the priest, “I’m pregnant.”

He asked, “How did this happen, my child?”

She said, “I think it must be the second coming.”

The priest, shocked by this reply, asked,

“What makes you think it’s the second coming?”

She replied, “Because I swallowed the first one, father.

A young woman with golden blonde hair walked into the small, quiet confessional booth of the church. She crossed herself before settling into the dimly lit space, her fingers nervously clutching her hands together. The priest, an elderly man with a kind yet puzzled expression, greeted her warmly.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “I am pregnant.”

The priest leaned forward, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He adjusted his glasses and asked gently, “How did this happen, my child?”

The young woman hesitated for a moment, her eyes shifting downward before looking him straight in the eye. “I think it must be the second coming.”

The priest, now thoroughly taken aback, stared at her in confusion. “The second coming?” he echoed, unsure of what she meant.

She nodded earnestly. “Yes, Father. I’m sure of it.”

At this point, the priest was completely stunned. He had expected to hear a confession about a moral failing or a lapse in virtue, but this was unlike anything he’d encountered. “But why do you think it’s the second coming?” he asked, his voice almost trembling.

The young woman smiled shyly, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Because, Father… I swallowed the first one.”

The priest sat in stunned silence, unsure whether to laugh or rebuke her. The confessional was still, save for the faint echo of her words. He finally let out a sigh, shaking his head, muttering to himself, “Lord, help us all.”

As the young woman left the booth, she couldn’t help but smile, leaving the priest in a state of utter disbelief. And while he may have learned an unexpected lesson that day, the confessional would forever be a little less quiet in his mind.